During my thinking time, I have found many things that I wanted to write about but haven't had the ______________ (nerve, desire, heart, time, etc.) to write about them.
One of my children, in a fit of anger called me a really bad name... not a cuss word but it hurt and it was followed by other words saying that this child didn't want me lying about my life on the computer. This was in reference to MY SPACE posting. The accusation came 6 weeks after the posting. I had read that posting to my children. Probably a mistake. So, I've been fearful of hurting my child and wanting to share altogether. A few days ago, I got the courage to read MY SPACE again to myself to see where the lie was located. Guess what .... there isn't one. Then I got to thinking... maybe my child wish it weren't true. I also, realized my child was concerned I would repeat what was said in the fit of anger. So... #1 I'm not sharing with my children anymore, #2 I'll try to be sensitive to them, #3 I need to share and write, I've been down not doing so.
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2 comments:
Great reflection.... with sensitivity and awareness.... I visit many blogs.... I have my favorites. Many posts pictures and stories of their children, family, names, etc. I, on the other hand, have chosen to keep my children pretty much out of my blog. A mention here, or there, maybe, but seldom does one hear about or see my children on my blog for several personal reasons. You are still relatively new to this, M... so you are finding out what works, what you want your blog to be about, and to be for.... I am sorry about the hurtful words. Knowing you, I know they stung. One time my daughter said the ultimate... that she hated me. And in her heart, at that time, she did. Our friend, Cheela, told me that kids will say things to those whom they feel the safest with. A paradox that a mother's heart does not understand at the time, perhaps...but wise, none the less.
Make this space of your blog YOUR SPACE. Use it to nourish your spirit, your womanhood, your creativity and your personality. It can be whatever you choose it to be...that's the beauty!
You are a wonderful woman - dear friend.
: )
VB
Yay you posted! I love reading what you write. For me, my blog is all about me and my family. I use my blog as a way for my family and friends to keep up with what is going on with us. I also want my children/grandchildren to have the chance to read about things that were going on in my life if they chose to one day.
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving, and enjoy your break!
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